dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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