I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
