I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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