All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Im part way to drunk.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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