that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
