Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
