fuck your aforementioned shoe
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
