We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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