Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
