I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
