Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I deserve this hangover.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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