i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
