i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
