this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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