matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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