it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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