We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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