everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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