i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
