you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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