u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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