You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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