I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
