Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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