my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
