I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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