Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
