called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
