If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
