Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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