Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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