Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
