About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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