despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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