I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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