Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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