guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
