Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
