Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
