He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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