I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
