is wine microwaveable?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
