allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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