my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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