nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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