Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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