I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
