Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
