You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
