I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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