Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
