I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize