In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
