Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize