Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
