Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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