dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
