how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Say something about gay babies.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
