I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
