Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
