You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
