what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
