We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
