Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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