you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
