I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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