your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Houston, we have a squirter
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
