There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
