i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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